On Monday went to celebrate teachers day. Most of all, i came to performed. I have choir performance. when i at the stage, That idiotic Charles called my name. Damn pai seh lorhhhx. Shout so loud. Damn shy. Hahas. Then after that can't concentrate on singing. I kept looking at them lorhhhx. Charles, august and them. Then vincent gave me a face. Sigh. Mr poon also. I think i sang terribly. Even though, xin rui say she heard me. Actually because of them lorhhhx! The more they see me the more louder i sang. Then when i'm out of the stage, nat ho was like shaking her head lorhhhx. After the performance, went to find teachers. Then saw charles their playing bb. Vincent say i'm so unprofessional. I knew it larhhhx, how cn a leader laughed? They should give their small ones confident larhhhx. I don't act like a leader at all. Hahas. Then watched them played bb. After that went to eat with nat ho, charles they all. Wa lao! Actually wanted to eat pasta mania, but now lehx? No choice sia. Hahas. Then on the way kept being insulted by them. Wa lao! Vincent and august took my phone and dunno do wad lorhhhx. Sigh. Hahas. Then some showed me tricks, Then wad now u c it now u dun then other other 1 asked me do some hand sigh n say i'm fadgard. Dunno wads that sia? Tell vincent then he laughed. Funny mehx? lols. While eating, charles and marcus came. I think they all going chambers. Lols. Didnt follow. Went with Nat ho to buy her new watch. Wa! Levis watch lehhhx, don't play play. hahas. Saw Zheng yao and royston in seoul Garden. Damn it larhhhx. Eat infront of us. Those idiots. (with some girls.) Then went to Jovia hse. hahas. Talked and talked. Then went home then go kk. I think i reached home at around 11pm. Hahas. Damn tired. While playing slept halfway.

Labels: Angry

I didn't know that i have such nice friends. When have i ever smile heartily. Without Tiny, I guess i can't go crazy anymore. Blame me. Making him angry all the time. Now i guess he and i are not best friends anymore. Missing the memories that we had back then. The time he stood up for me when charles said my cakes taste disgusting. Missing the insults he always gave me regardless good or bad. Missing him asking me for sweets all the time. Those plots he make to make me unhappy become part of my happy memories. Those warm and gentle pictures kept flowing in my head. How Can i regain back our friendship from before? I'm damn sad. Everytime, i saw him with them and i will get jealous. when i heard he care about our friendship, i was damn happy. Must i always be the one that take the 1st step. Must i apologise? Not talking but always see him is damn dreadful.
Now happy memories. Hahas. Went to the zoo with Yi ren and Qi xuan and elaine. OMG! How many years i've been there. I gone crazy sia. I keep shouting and screaming. NNNN i saw red butts! Baboon! hahas. Then finally my energy used up as i didn't get to eat a proper meal. We rest awhile at the end and then went back. On the way i was in a heated agruement with Qi xuan and Yi ren. Damn it! They kept bullying me lorhhx. Pulled and pulled my hair. Then after that i went to meet my cuz and attend the performance. I hate this kind of stuffs. Movements rescrited. Must be properly dressed. Sianz.
Pictures will be update soon.
Went to KK hospital to visit a friend. Lols. I went with jeremy, min yi and li xian. Li xian and i met jeremy 1st. Then we walked to KK. I think i'm so rude sia. Hahas. He tried to talk to me(seem to me cox li xian instruct him) but i think i ignore him. But i dun wan to be friendly with them. I don't know why though. Hw i wish to be more open and let every bit of my feeling out. Then saw minyi . Went mac. Later jeremy looked for us and he need to go back already. So we waited until 5.45 until all of us can go up. When we reached, it so good to to c him safe and sound. He really had ppl worried about him. His looks became, not telling. But he does not sound or look like a patient. Glad. I guess I'm not visting him ever again.
Its so tiring. Everyday. Today i stay at home. Acted like a good girl. I lazed at my bed. My head damn pain. I want to get out of the house. Seriously, whenever i'm in my hse. I looked like a bird stuck in its cage. No freedom. I don't want anything like this.My house ia a prison. Once u r in, u in FOREVER. I don't blame me borning in this world. Life is just so tiring. No one would ever understand the pain that i felt. Looking happy its not a mask. I'm really happy that i saw my friends. Theuy are the one that believe in me. Giving me comforts whenever i in need. Its just bad luck for me to be born in this family. My heart...are smashed into pieces. Theres no way i can feel anything again. My families is like troubles.

Labels: friends

Please someone please save him. Friend informed me that he went to hospital for checkup. Upset. Though me and him not friends anymore but i don't wish anything to happen to him. Pray for his safety. Dear Ong Boo Hai grandpa., i need your help. Please save my friend. Please protect him. I'm willing to give all my luck or my guardian angel to him. For once, i don't want to see any traedgy before my friends anymore. I hope u can do it. Although he's not my friend anymore...

Labels: help...

Quarreled with someone today for some lame things. It's the 1st tym though. I'm not angry or wad cox i think that our quarrel would make our bond stronger like how it's with me and jovia. You surely fight one day even for some stupid things. This type of thing can't be overlooked because such small things might destroy everything eventually. One must take a step, offer ur hand and shake. It's take 2 hands to clap. Hahas. I hoped i won't be the 1 that offer, i offered too much already. Sick and tired of giving in to friends. Can't complain. I wish there once that they would prove that i was important to them. A part of their life. Someone or something important. Can't let it go. Those type of confrimation. To my dissapointed, this would not happen. I'm so greedy. I just want more and more and want something in return. When have i become like this? So greedy to an exchange. After experiencing so many thing and it come to this..I'm so selfish.
Today, the skies was clear and bright. Wind...blown towards my unwashed face. Slapping me real hard. The message it's conveying to me was 'another new day'. Sighed. I think, Whats my new day would be like? Will i have another fight with my friends? Will i quarrel with my families? Will it be a happy day? What will happen today? The thoughts were unpleasent. I wish i could just sleep forever and ever. Without any trouble, not knowig whats wrongs and rights. Without any problems. The day would be covered with darkness. Thinking..wouldn't that be so sad? My families, friends, those that concerned about me would feel sad. Though i don't know if they are real or fake to me. This are my friends at least. Can't change the fact that I LOVE THEM. No matter how close or how far. Those, my friends, would be the best. Thank you for friending a person like me. Giving in most of the time.

Labels: of Happiness...

Today, woke up at around 9. Brush teeth, Bathe, Wash face. Then ate cheese cake for breakfast. Yummy! Then went to took mrt to Yishun to meet Elaine. Then later went to khabit to meet qi xuan and yi ren. After that trained down to Ang Mo Kio. Then we were fighting or let say discussing where we wanted to go. Final decision, Singapore zoo. Actually i wanted to watch movie. It's okay, let's just go with the flow. Then When we reached there, i was totally crazy! I kept shouting and running that all my energy has drained out. Then finally we reached the end. We walked to the exit, and i was complaining about how tiring it was. Then went to train down to sembawang. Yi ren had a quarreled with the mrt manager as he was damn idiotic. Who cares? Lazy to type down the incident. After that i met my cuz at Sun Plaza. Ran home to changed as i'm attending some events. Took train then bus to Nan Yang girl's school to watch Dance performance. Each and everyone of them were amazing. I was mermerished by them. They did their very best. After that cab home. REached home, get changed then went to my cuz's house to stay. Hahas. Brought my studying materials also. Have A-math test on monday. see ya. Sleeping soon. The day just end like this.

Labels: coming in...

I stay at Daryl's hse yesterday. He so damn cute. He was supposed to be revising his science as he have test on monday. But i was tempting him by playing the computer in front of him. Hahas. Then he was like cannot even concentrate at all. Then his mum ask him to go in but he said nono i can. But then he kept looking at what i'm doing. Seriously larhhhx, isn't my cuz cute. I like him sooooo much! Too bad i can't stead with him. Then he was like eating and eating and watching instead of revising. His mum will be mad at him for sure!! Now he is walking towards the tv and wlking back. Pls? Hw can he be so cute. Then he will laugh whenn i laughed at him. Lols. Though he look kind of handsome, (from my perspective though) but he seriously damn navie. Even though, he like kind of pervert. Honestly, he was the 1 who taught me the 'f' word. Isn't it funny but now looks like me and him kws. N we have 'our' secret. Shhhhhhhhh....don't say it out. Now he bloody watching the tv. Later going Orchard. Sorry royston, never go support.

Labels: heehee

Seriously, everything to me now, is just a reality. How i wish i can faced it. It just to hard for me. Backstbbing and other stuffs will hurt people deeply and they knew it. But why are they doing it? have they ever thought if people did it to them, what will they response? They just have lots of free time to spare, i guess? They are like hiding their 'true' character. Putting their masks on. They are such cruel person. Hw cn a person do something like this without even have any guilt in them? i don't really believed there heartless people in them. They know is bad yet they do it. They have emotions like normal poeple do. They are not mosters. So why? People do this things are b'cox of relationship and hatred. Seriously, Happy-go-lucky is always the best. Stay single is what i wan to achieve now. I don't wan to land myself in such troubles. Unless there someone that worth me doing it for him...

Labels: of everything

I want to forget about you. I don't want to cling on you anymore. I'm too tired. I just dun wan to like you sia. Since i think you are disguting idiot.Lols. Anyway i have secret. Confrim lerhhx, then tell you.

Labels: lols

Labels: for all the years

Hahas. I was wondering how me and jovia will be able to last this long despite of our consistence quarells. There like nothing on this earth we cant talk about. Everyday something exciting will come. Theres always topic for us to talk. I mean that friendship is one of the difficult thing u can get in this world. Not only you need to trust the person, you also need to be able to understand them as well. The feelings are very important as well. Let the person know how much you care for them. I may seem the happiest person outside, but do you know? That i'm not as happy as i m outside. When i'm at home, i get sick and tired easily. Sometimes, I feel like changing homes. Unless thought though. But a mother would love her child no matter how bad she is rite? This is what i have learnt. I learn it from those thayt like their family very much. I'm very sorry that i didn't spend time with you so much and you kept making time for me. I appreciate all of it and i will try my very best to maintain our ongoing one year friendship. The bond of our friendship would grow stronger during the days. I'm not a very good friend recently but i hope you could understand everything. I know you would too as you are such an understanding girl. I hope our everyday life will be like this. I also hope when we are separated, we will still treat it as a part of our memories. We cant stay best friend forever as we will graduate from seconday days. Those days, will be attached to me until i'm dead. I'm saying this now is bcox i want u to understand hw i feel about you. I also dun wan u to feel disappointed. It better to be late then sorry. I can comfrim our friendship could withstand any problems. More problems wil; come in soon so i hope you can stand frim on the ground as we will have our own friend very soon. Thank you for all this years.

Labels: is the basic foundation of friendship

On friday, during the national day festival at my sch, i made tiny angry. Then after that meet elaine. Then meet duan feng and yong xiang at orchard road. In the middle of th trip have some misunderstanding which was quite bothersome. Maybe they are too popular barhx. Cant be close to them. What girls see in them? It's okay. I'm not angry or wad, i think is b'cox the girl like him too much then she do something like this. Even maybe i would do also, cox of jealousy. Jealousy is such a scary thing. Boys are really not sensitive to it at all. They can't even feel if the girl like them or not or they would never response any feeling or emotions with the girls that they didn't like at all. How i wish that some boy will be serious about relationship. I'm very confused. Boo Hai grandpa, are you really watching me from the skies? How come i kept getting all this problem? Some how i seem tired of it. Some how...

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Yesterday went out with charles, august, marcus, vincent, wei hong, shi en, shi min, filaa, faris, chee ting, yik ning and jovia plus me! total of 13 ppl! hahas. Some of the people went to meet up and watch movie then some meet at east coast 1st. Then cycle for a few hours. Then shi min fall down. Gosh! Damn pain. Shi min very guilty say she spoil the fun. I don't think so though. Hope she alright. Then after that go Parkway parade almost got lost. Lols. Charles., wei hong and marcus got lost and then we gave them directions. Then i helped shi min up the stairs damn heavy sia. Hahas,. Eat pasta mania with them. Then after that bus to bedok then after then mrt dw hse. Fetch chee ting home 1st. Then worried about letecia on the way back. lols. On the way quite frustrated then voice out to koh koh. hahas. tok to him damn happy. Somemore..gt go sia. Secrer. confidential. Shhhhhhhhh. Then went home and call min min about my problem. Then sleep lerhhhx.

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the day haven even started yet and nw i already posting today post. BTw the post on the top was the post for past few days. To the girl: i'm sorry if you think that we are snatching away them from you. If you could just voice out to me then i don't mind don't contact themm at all. What you doing on the friday thingy was quite bad. I don't blamme you for it mmaybe i understand how you feel and so. You at the very least nid to consider about our feelings. I also didn't know that they were this popular to let you make this extention. I hope you knows whats wrong and obviously i wanted to know who you are and i have my own ways of detecting it. Rest assure, when i know who are you, i'm not going to do anything. Don't do such a lame thing. At the very least, i know how its like to like a person.
Such a lame post that is. Don't read it.
lols

Labels: feelings? wad use?

Today wake up around 3am cox cant sleep. Thinking of the ghost show yesterday. Damn scary. Then later continue to sleep. Sleep til 10am. Then on the com and play. Suddenly, uncle call ask me to go to church. Don't feel like going. Quarrel with grandma over it. Then lose the battle. Went to Bugis after attending the church. Went ther to eat. I ate Ebi no Don. Then after eating we ate desert. Don't water your mouth when reading this! Damn nice the mango sobert. Later went shopping with my mum. Waste money again. I hould have think b4 i buy. Scare won't wear. Then after that, i just walk aimlessly. Followed them. Boring. Nothing better to do. Then we went home. Almost gt lost. Mood damn bad. Mett cuz then go her hse. Mood okay lerhhhx. Nw playing com. Just wan to post like tt.

Labels: sleeping

31/7/09
To me. Life was just what God had given me. Sometimes, to me, life was meaningless. Nothing great about it. Until today, i know how is it like to live. I remembered there was one time i went with 3e5 to do CIP hour at old-folks home. We were very shy at first. Later we started to tok to the people over there. Disappointed, as they either ignore us or reject us. So we started to approach those uncle. There, we met Ong Boo Hai Grandpa. We started play games. I showed him magic but he see through it. Then we started to play cards game like Big 2 but he doesn't know how. we tried all games and then started to chat. He told us bout hiss families and so on. We brought him green tea also. Sad case, it's time to go. We promised him that we will come again tomorrow and we did. We brought for him noodles and green tea. We kept visiting him. We find it pleasent though. Somehow, entertaining. Maybe we like social stuffs? Lols. Then we stopped visiting him. SFY and Mid-Year exam is approching at that time. After the Mid-Years we went to visit him and tell him the reasons as we were quite sorry. He told us that hes going to die. We thought he was joking but then We could see form his face that its not. His face was shaking and he was crying. He say that he was very happy that he could meet the 2 of us. His tears falls. Then we promised him that we will come again tomorrow. We went and email the old-folks home. Say," if theres anything happen to ward3, ong boo hai, please inform us."
Only until 31/7/09, i went to old-folks home by myself, I request for him but they say he passed away. I was stuned. If i have the power i would reversed time back and visit him for the last time. I'm very sure that he was disappointed that we didn't visit him but i'm sure he would understand why. I regretted. I broke a promise. Though it's small but it's something big to him.

To Ong Boo Hai grandpa,
I'm sorry for breaking a promise. I have my own reasons and hope that you would understand. I'm sorry that i can't get to see you for the last time. I know that you are sad and disappointed with us. I can understand how its feel. I still can remembered vividly your crying face. I hope you forgive me. Now you can see your mum now. Please watch over me from the skies. Thank you. Blessed us.

countless of people are thinking ways to make them die easier but there countless of people are afraid of death as there are more important things for them to do but they can't do. Please, cherish your life. It may not be a big thing but it's not a small thing either.

1/8/09
Meet xin rui at the mrt. How dare she late. Nvm. We took bus to elaine's hse. Almost took the wrong bus. Then we meet elaine at NTUC. Accompany xin rui go buy her chicken rice. Elaine then went to pick her daddy. Then me and xin rui went to her void deck to wait for them. Damn long sia. We ate crackers and so on. We went on to elaine hse the void deck there and sit. Gt cat. Ask xin rui go buy food. Then when we want to feed the cat then they came. Eugene help us opened can food. Then give it eat. Later we find another cat at the parking lot. Fed it also. They eat the food then ignore us lorhhx. How clever animals this days. Lols. Then we went to elaine hse. I helped her moved her hse the tv to her room cox later watching ghost movie marhhx. Not bad. Damn heavy. Study 1st. Then everyone no mood. So we watch 1st. Tt si eugene kept disturb me lorhhx. Bully sia. Keep throwing things at me. Then elaine like damn wad lorhhhx. Help her daddy then me. Everytime he throw, i throw back, i kenna scolded. Idiot. Steady until like that lorhhx. Lols. After watching 1 1/2 of the movie, xin rui went home. Then after awhile we went out for some fresh air. Damn hot! On the way they keep bully me lorhhhx. Then played until damn happy sia. Angry though. I accidentally hit eugene's phone on the bar. sorry. Not purposely. Who ask yoou to keeep that pic. Idiot. LOls. Then draw him and elaine until like wad. Then he keep beatinng me sia. Lols. Then after that, need go home already cox like Elaine need go sin tua. Then she walk us to the northpoint. On the way engene talk bout some serious matter. Then he took mrt and i took bus.
-the end-

Watch over from the skies.

Labels: broken a promise. Regretted.